Friends

I remember writing about someone who does not trust in her friends anymore and that her family members are the only ones she trusts. Well, after some observation, I realise that the problem doesn't lie in her friends at all. The problem is with her. I see one of her friends being so nice to her. Once in a while this particular friend would think of her and take the trouble to prepare something nutritious for her to consume. Yet, at times she would tell me that this friend is sulking or is angry with her because of certain things. I feel that the problem actually lies with her. She should learn to give and take and learn to forgive others. Don't be too quick to judge others and think that she is always the one who is right. We can't expect others to always 'kowtow' to us. Instead we should learn to understand others. To me, she is plain selfish. Always wanting people to give in to her. Always craving for attention and not thinking of doing otherwise. Maybe being the youngest in the family also affects the way she thinks because at home everyone gives in to her and she has become a spoilt brat. The way she speaks and the things she say always imply that she is right and everyone else is wrong and stupid. She thinks too highly of herself. For a relationship and friendship to work, we have to learn to understand the other party. It takes two to tango, doesn't it? She's already in her fifties but she's behaving like a little kid. She always never fails to remind others that she is the youngest in the family and expects others to give in to her. It is alright if its once or twice, but if she's always saying that, people get fed up with that. If we behave this way, I'm sure we can't make friends easily.

jennyiyan's recollections...

A recollection...

It is raining again. Whenever it rains, I wish that I would be snuggled in bed reading my novel. It's been difficult to get the chance to enjoy it these days because more often than not, I'll be at my workplace. Many things crop up and I do not even have the time to think of such luxury, what more enjoy it. I remember when I was a young and naive girl with no worries in me, a rainy day was something I loved, and actually looked forward to. I would snuggle in bed and listen to the rain feeling happy that I did not have to be out there getting all wet, especially when there's thunder and lightning. At times I would sit by the window and look at the raindrops. Sometimes I would see children running around happily in the rain. I had wished that I was among them. But of course, my mum would never hear of that. At that time I did not understand why she did not allow us to join those children. Neither did we understand why we had to take a shower once we reached home, if any of us were to get caught in the rain. Now, as an adult I understand. My siblings and I are fortunate that we have a mum who was and is always there for us. Looking at all the children out there whose parents are busy working and only manage to spend a little time with them, I am truly thankful for my mum for being there for us all the time.

jennyiyan's recollections...

Being Malaysian

Today is Hari Raya Aidilfitri and it is also a public holiday. A much-awaited one for me. I will have five days off, including Saturday and Sunday. Such a luxury, eh? For this holiday, I have planned to just laze around doing the things that I like - reading, watching tv, surfing the net and most important of all, spending time with Iyan. I'm sure many of those who celebrate Hari Raya held open houses today because this is the tradition and culture that we, Malaysians practise, no matter what race and religion we belong to. Even the Prime Minister and his cabinet ministers held open houses. As usual, we see droves of people thronging these open houses especially the ministers' on this auspicious day. It is not so much for the wide array of food. It is more for the solidarity among friends. Everyone can visit each other without being worried about anything because we live in a peaceful country. We know that we can go out safely and return safely. The same can't be said for some countries where there is violence. I know I would never know how fearful the people in these countries are each time they had to leave their homes to go somewhere. That makes me appreciate this peaceful country more. Ever since young, my siblings and I have been taught not to look at skin colour or race, we all live in Malaysia and we are all Malaysians. Hence, we have learnt to treat everyone the same. We played and laughed together. I remember that my sister would bring her friend of another race home after school and this friend would have lunch with my family. She would stay, take her shower and study at our house. My parents did not treat her differently and I hope that I will be able to emulate that and treat every Malaysian the same. To all my Muslim friends out there, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and have a wonderful weekend.

jennyiyan's recollections...

An Untimely Death

I was surfing the internet just now and found out that one of my favourite novelists, Andrew Britton had passed away on March 18, 2008. He was only 27. I could not believe what I had read. A young talent is gone. He had such a bright future ahead, but, who can stop God's will. I can imagine how his family members had felt at that moment. I have actually been looking forward to many more novels from him. It seems that he was working on his fourth novel when he passed away due to an undiagnosed heart problem. I first stumbled upon his novel while browsing for books at the Borders. It was The Assassin, which was his second novel. I fell in love with his writing straightaway and now I am reading his first novel, The American. Meanwhile, I have been looking out for his third novel, The Invisible. Only the hardcover version is being sold. I have to wait till 2009 to get the paperback version according to the sales personnel at the Borders. He had his first novel published at a young age of 21. His untimely death reminds me of Heath Ledger's death, also at a very young age. Both had so much going for them.

jennyiyan's recollections...

Insight

I'm back after a long absence. I just couldn't find the time to write as I've been very busy with work. I don't even have the time to indulge in my favourite activity - reading. Finally, I have the time to do all the things that I like - reading, surfing the net and blogging among others before I'm busy again. Speaking of work, well, we recently had a new boss. As always with a new boss, everyone will scramble to get into the good books of the boss. Well, not everyone of course, I was exaggerating. Numerous things will be speculated by those who claim to know or have heard about the new boss. He or she is like this or that. He or she likes this or that and he or she dislikes this and that. Phew! What an earful! I can't help but marvel at these gossipmongers, if this is the apt word to describe them. Where do they get all these info? Even before the new boss reported for duty, word had been going round about the boss. By the time the boss reported for duty, we sort of had an image of him or her, which, of course was unfair! We had managed to turn the boss into a monster rather than someone who was sent there to help manage the institution. I acknowledge, there are many types of people out there who are capable of doing anything. I personally feel that some of them have the wrong profession. Some of them should have been spies or working with the CIA. As for me, I don't care much about what they do or say as long as they do not include me. I will listen to all these, well gossips are always juicy, right? But I would rather take my time to get to know the boss. For me, I'll continue working the way I have been doing and I don't care about the rest. It's not in me to butter up my boss. I just don't have such talent. Some would bring back gifts for the boss when they go off on a holiday. Some would enter the boss' office and voice their dissatisfaction for others just to show the boss that they are doing their job. Some just love to be seen in the company of the boss, lapping up everything that comes out of the boss' mouth. Then there are those who are appointed heads of certain department who would just delegate their work to their subordinates while they brag to the boss that they have done this and that. They have gotten their heads too big and have forgotten that without the subordinates who have been slogging for them, they would be nowhere near where they are now. Everyone has his or her limit. One day he or she will just burst and there goes the friendship. What profit is there? For me, I believe in democracy. I believe in discussing things and taking into consideration others' opinions before we come to a conclusion. I dislike people who delegate their work to others while they just sit aound gossiping about others. Some who have their heads too big just lose their humanity and love and care for mankind. In a recent incident whereby one of my fellow colleague's loved one passed away, the immediate head telephoned her at home to remind her that she had not completed her work and that she had a deadline to honour. Excuse me! She had just lost a loved one and the funeral had not even been conducted. Can't it wait until after the funeral? Or can't you just help her complete it since you are so free? Or better, since you are so good at delegating your job, why don't you just take the task and delegate it to the others? It's not that she's having a gala time at home. Where is the love and care for fellow colleagues? What has become of humanity?

jennyiyan's recollections...

Aging gracefully

I'm once again at the computer while waiting to go for my exercise. It's been five days now since I last went as it has been raining every evening. Yesterday as I put on my shoes the rain started to pour. Once again I had to put off my plan. Today the weather has been fine so far. I remember before the rainy season started, I've been going for my exercises diligently, to the extent of being called a 'fitness freak'. Well, why do I care so much about exercising? People say that as you age you tend to think more of being healthy and eating healthy food. How true it is. I find that I value good health now more than before. When I was younger, I always said I did not have time for exercise. Why? Because I would rather hang out with friends at my favourite spots, like the shopping complexes or the cineplexes. Now, even the food that I eat reflects my age. No ice, no soft drinks or no oily and spicy food. Eat lots of vegetables and fruit, etc, etc. In short, my food must be healthy food which have lots of fibre. I'm very afraid of falling sick. Whenever I hear of so and so being ill, I feel very sad and think of my own condition. When you are young, all these do not matter at all. Ah, we only live once. So, enjoy life to the fullest. But it's not so these days. I have started to value my life more and this is definitely a sign of growing old. I am so afraid that I would not be able to see Iyan and Mei-mei grow up. I hope to live long enough to see them grow up and be successful in life. However, I know all these lie in God's hands. If my time is up, then I'll have to return to my maker. Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy this life that God has bestowed me.

jennyiyan's recollections...

51st Merdeka

Tomorrow we will be celebrating our country's 51st merdeka or independence day. Many individulas and agencies have made the necessary preparation for this auspicious event. As usual, there will be parades by the public and private sectors and many school children will also be taking part. Now, what does merdeka actually mean to each and everyone of us? How do we show that we are loyal citizens and that we love our country? What is patriotism? Does draping as many jalur gemilang as possible across the width of our cars show patriotism? Or does flying the flag in our house compound or sticking many tiny jalur gemilang on our vehicles show that we are citizens who love our country dearly? Does criticising the government at times mean that we are not loyal and good citizens? I don't fly the jalur gemilang or drape it across the bonnet of my car but that doesn't mean that I am not patriotic or a loyal citizen and don't love my country. I love the peace in my country and the beautiful people there regardless of their race and religion. I love the fact that I don't have to worry that I might be blown to pieces by a suicide bomber each time I leave my house to go to a shopping complex or an entertainment outlet. I love this peace loving nation. I love to sing the national anthem and all the rest of the patriotic songs. For me, patriotism comes from within the heart. It is a way of life. Patriotism and loyalty to the country cannot be forced onto every individual. He or she needs to understand the true meaning and do it willingly. For example, we can't force a child to stand in attention and respect the raising of the flag when singing the national anthem. He or she should automatically know what he or she should do in such a situation without having to be told to do so. A few days back, my colleagues and I were talking about this. We were pointing out that children nowadays do not love their school as we did when we were in school. If we do not love our school, the institution where we first learn about the history of our country, then how are we going to love and be patriotic and loyal to our country? I remember when we sang the national anthem and all the other patriotic songs including our school song, it was with much pride and admiration that we stood in attention during the singing and the raising of the flag. We took the trouble to memorise the songs and sang with all our hearts. This is what patriotism means to me. Only with this can we learn to love and be loyal to our country. However, everyone is entitled to his or her interpretation of patriotism and loyalty to the country. We might differ in thoughts and opinions but we are one, that is Malaysians. Happy 51st Merdeka!

jennyiyan's recollections...

Family and friends

I had to leave Iyan again yesterday to return to Penang because I work there. How I dread the moment I had to leave. One of my colleagues told me to just apply for a transfer back to KL where my family members, including my beloved Iyan are since I'm always missing him so much. It's not that I don't want to work near home. It's just that staying away from home has its good points too. I find that by staying on my own, I have grown to love my family more and not take them for granted. I not only cherish the time that I spent with them but also each other and there's also less bickering among us siblings. I have learnt to appreciate mum's cooking more as I don't get such good and healthy food when I eat out. I have actually been staying away from home ever since my school days and this has taught me to be more independent. Of course, when I was in school, my parents would take me home from the hostel at the end of each semester and send me back when the hols were over. But over time, I grew to be independent and could take the bus home during the weekends when I missed home too much and once every fortnight, my friends and I would take the bus to town just to unwind. There were curfew hours and we had to be back at the hostel by 6pm but that did not stop us having fun. When I went to college, my parents did not have to worry about taking or sending me back to the hostel anymore. By then, I was more matured and could take the public transport. When I began to work, my first posting was to a small town in Terengganu, at the border of Kelantan. There was no shopping centre or even a cinema for me to go to. The nearest city was about 50 km away. I couldn't imagine myself surviving in such a condition. I remember missing my family tremendously, but with the help of friends I managed to overcome my loneliness. We would gather after work each day and exchange news of our workplaces. We had a lot of fun just sitting around chitchatting. Sometimes, during certain festivals where we couldn't be home, we would gather and celebrate together with the little means that we had. It could have been a simple gathering like a barbecue, or someone's birthday, yet we had lots of fun being together. That is why I treasure all my friends. One of my colleagues told me that she does not trust anyone anymore because one of her so-called friends has hurt her. Well, maybe she has not been in a situation like mine. In my situation, we have to learn to give and take. Yes, a friend might have hurt our feelings, but we need to learn to forgive him or her if we want to have a happy life far away from our loved ones. I wouldn't say that I have put friends before family but I wouldn't deny that there are things that I share with a close friend and not with my sister. Yet, that doesn't mean that I don't share things with my family members. For me, my family members still and will always occupy the number one spot in my heart. Ultimately, family members are the ones who will stick by us. Their love for us is unconditional.

jennyiyan's recollections...

Iyan

I remember the first time I set my eyes on a cute little baby the day he was born. I never knew I had so much love to share until then. The moment I saw him, I just wanted to hold him closely and protect him always. I vowed never to allow anyone hurt him physically. He's the apple of my eye, the love of my life and that special someone who will cause me to break all rules. Each time I have to leave him brings me heartache and I'll be counting the days till I next see him. And each time I go to a shopping complex, I will think of what to get him when I return home to see him. At times, I miss him so much that I just could not hold back the tears. When I talk about him, it is always with pride. For him, I will do many things that I do not normally do, like I've learnt to cook his favourite food - salmon teriyaki, minestrone soup and mushroom soup, just to name a few. It's a joy to see him grow from a baby to a toddler, and now he is already in the primary school. How time flies. He celebrated his seventh birthday last week, on the eighteenth. He is none other than my favourite nephew, Iyan. I think it is still not too late to wish him a happy belated birthday. We were out together just now at the shopping complex and we always have fun when we go out. I remember many a time he would be rushing to the washroom right after eating to answer nature's call and I would have to help clean him up. He would make me wait for him outside while he does his 'business' and only when he says, 'I'm done' will he allow me in to help him clean up. Sometimes we would just laze on the sofa at home watching his favourite shows or he would be playing games on his psp or ps3 and I would be reading. For me, these are very special moments. Spending the little time that I have with him. How I wish I could spend more time with him. I just want him to know that he is very much loved by all his family members. Iyan, Taiyee wish and pray that you will grow up to be a fine, young man. An individual who is not only confident, wise and successful but respects and loves his mum, dad and mei-mei dearly, not forgetting popo. Taiyee will always cherish the time spent with you. Indeed, you are very special, not only to Taiyee but also your mum, dad, mei-mei and popo. 'Happy belated birthday, Iyan'.

jennyiyan's recollections...

the dark knight

two days ago i went for the dark knight. i would say it was a very good movie. the character of the joker played by heath ledger was excellent. he should be awarded the best actor at the grammys. however, its a sad thing that he is no longer here. such a young and talented actor who is at the prime of his career. if we look back, how many of these young people have died prematurely. take for example the hong kong singer and actor, leslie cheung kok weng who jumped to his death due to depression and anita mui who died of cervical cancer. if we go even further back, we read about bruce lee's death and not loo long ago his son. before that, it was elvis presley and james dean, just to name a few. we hear of artistes and youngsters taking drugs today. some take the easy way out by committing suicide. what are the reasons for them doing that? is life that bad that they have to find a way out of it? is it due to peer pressure? or are parents placing undue stress on their children? it is a competitive world out there and i won't deny that this is one of the reasons. children want to impress their parents by doing well in life because it has been drummed into them that to do well in life they need to work real hard just as what their parents are doing now. they leave for work early in the morning and only return after their children have gone to bed. they are not there to guide their children through their growing up years. hence, children are left to fend for themselves. its a miracle if the children grow up and become good citizens but the same cannot be said for those who turn to drugs for comfort. how long can that help them? if given the choice i'm sure they would not have chosen that. there are also children from poor families who have to give up their studies and go to work to help with the family expenses. how much can they earn with their qualification, if we can call it that. so, the cycle continues and they will never be able to come out of the pot that is holding them. my heart goes out to them.

jennyiyan's recollections...